Saturday, 2 February 2019


I don't usually do these types of posts but January has been a month. The first month of the year is over and my goodness has it been a rollercoaster. 

I started 2019 certain that a change was coming, I could feel it. So I decided to start my year on the right foot and decided to take part in the Dedicate 30-day yoga challenge. Dedicating time to move my body and do yoga was extremely challenging and rewarding. As someone who does 0 exercise unless we count walking, some of the positions had me wobbling all over the place. But as time went on I could feel myself get stronger and it was the most satisfying feeling. I didn't, however, take part in this challenge for my body, I did it for my mind. 2018 was rough on my mental health and I want 2019 to be different. I wanted to change my relationship with my body so that instead of constantly fearing it I could commence a relationship where my body and I worked together and found some form of peace. Doing yoga daily had such an amazing impact on my mind, I felt lighter, peaceful, I was less anxious and I felt stronger. For the 19 days that I did my yoga, I didn't self-harm, which is the longest period clean I had managed in a LONG time. But here is my issue, I am such an all or nothing person, and after some built up stress and anger my yoga practices slipped and I relapsed. Along with that came the attitude, well what's the point now? 

I still need to get myself out of that rut. 

So my mental health has taken a knocking again but 19 days of things being a bit better was a little rest bite that was truly appreciated.

I also had my 22nd birthday, a day that honestly I wasn't really thinking about but once the day arrived I woke up quite sad, sad that another year had gone by and I felt like I had just been miserable. But it turned around quick because my best friend had organised a little gathering to play pool and have some drinks with some friends and I genuinely felt contentment. 

Little shoutout to that best friend, Eleonore (she has a blog as well, check her out here) because honestly she has been a gem and helped me through this month. Keep reading to find out why I need help dragging myself through January. 

As much as January was a little bit wobbly, not only because of yoga but also because of my mental health, it was also a tough one for my family. My grandad had brain surgery and then there was a big court date looming over our heads, and of course, because that is the way that the universe works, they both happened at the same time on the same day. It was hard, and it emotionally drained me. But there wasn't time to feel tired from it all because I am a final year university student and was already stretched as it is. So the past week has been filled with me running off adrenaline (because to top off all the stress I'm not sleeping great either) but I've got through somehow. 

In January I also applied for 2 jobs. The first being to be a Mindfulness Project Coordinator and the second to be a Social Media Assistant. The first was unsuccessful and was a little blow to my confidence. Having been the first ever job that I applied for that I didn't have some sort of relevant experience or qualification in, I felt deflated. Worried that getting into working in the mental health sector would be harder than anticipated as my degree is in French and Italian. I applied for the second job, knowing hand on heart I probably wouldn't get the job, especially as they asked for our social media links and blog if we had them. I sent mine knowing that when they would see and read my mental health content I would instantly have lost all chances. 

I was wrong. I got an interview and it went well. 

Oh it snowed as well (how pretty is my picture?) and I am an actual child when it comes to snow. Snow = serotonin for me so I was a happy bunny. It didn't last long though, the snow that is, although I guess we could say the same for the serotonin. 

January was a month. A huge rollercoaster of emotions and it has been a looooonnnnnnggg month. But February has begun in the best way possible, I got the job (I'm officially a social media assistant eeekkk and also, wow they hired me knowing that I have mental health problems, (I shouldn't be surprised but I am)) and I got a first in a uni Italian presentation I did.  

So it is February 2nd and it is really nice to just have an hour of free time to write again. January is a long, horrible month for everyone, but hey we made it through and we are one month closer to spring. The brighter days are coming. 

1 comment :

  1. Congrats of the job!! That is wonderful, encouraging, and inspiring as I myself have been working on building my profile to begin work as a virtual assistant of sorts, combined with customer service skills, and feel extremely nervous about how to build my profile and apply for positions. This gives me hope.