Saturday, 25 August 2018

Being 21

Being 21, which I have been for the past 8 months is a very strange age. Since birth everyone has been aiming for around about the same milestones; walking, talking, getting into their preferred secondary school, GCSE's, A levels, Uni and then suddenly you arrive at 21 and there aren't any more guidelines to live by. My whole life up to this point has been mapped out by little goals and now there aren't any. We are in this weird dimension between being a child and being a proper adult, this weird dimension between the family home and our own lives. 

I have friends who have just graduated from uni and off to work their dream jobs and others who have dropped out of uni and are trying to figure out what to do now. I have friends who are traveling the world, phoning me from Singapore one month and from Australia the next, and others that have never been out of the UK. I personally have never had a romantic relationship but I have a friend who is engaged with a baby on the way. Some friends work 65 hour weeks and others who have never worked a day in their life. I have friends who have got to 21 with such fortune and another who has spent the last 2 and a bit years in a rehabilitation center after a horrific car accident. Some friends go out at every possible chance, sleep around and drink a lot and I have other friends who are happy to sit and play Sims on a Saturday night with a cup of tea. I have friends trying to start up businesses and others who still phone their dad to put money in their account. I have friends who are self-sufficient and others that still need their mum to do their washing. 

What I am getting at is that at 21 there isn't a guideline and we aren't comparable anymore. At 17 we were comparable, who's at college? Who's at sixth form? What are everyone's grades? Even at university, we were comparable but not anymore. Everyone is just doing their life and trying to do whats best for them with what they are given. 

Sometimes it can be hard via social media to not compare yourself to the friends who are traveling all the time, or who are posting photos of their new family and their new car when your own reality isn't quite that glamorous. Some people appear to have it all figured out and others seem completely lost but I think deep down no one really knows what they are doing, we are all just trying to figure it out as we go along. 

I guess the beauty of being 21 is that there is no goal anymore. If I fell pregnant tomorrow people would congratulate me, if I suddenly upped and went to Australia people would think its great, just like if I dropped out of uni people wouldn't bat an eyelid. There is complete freedom in being 21. 

Often I think I should be doing things differently, I am 21 and an adult yet there is still so much more I have to learn. I guess what I am trying to say is if you feel this way, it's ok. Yes some people at this age are doing more but some are also doing less. We are all trying our best, to live our "best lives", to work towards a future in a difficult climate whereby we may never get on the property ladder and to be happy in a time a where there is just sooo much pressure. 

What you are doing is great. What I am doing is great. We are only 21 at the end of the day. 

1 comment :

  1. Amazing post! I was actually thinking about that the other day - I am no longer at the age where being pregnant is seen as a bad thing by society. I am pretty sure that deep down no one has a clue what they're doing, we're all just improvising and trying to figure it out and in a way that's beautiful. How boring would it be if there was only one way? A bit like school... yes it was great to have life mapped out for you, at least until the age of 18, but I'm happier now that I'm doing my own thing xx