SOCIAL MEDIA

Sunday, 22 April 2018

I don't have a concrete plan


Society seems to have this rough outline of a life plan that it likes us to follow. It goes somewhat like this: school - sixthform/college - university/straight into work - graduate job and the start of a career - find "the one" - get married - start a family whilst continuing to work a job that for most people they don't enjoy - eventually retire.


It is expected that after I finish my four year degree and am in a painful amount of debt that I begin a career linked to that degree in order to begin paying back the crazy amount of money I owe.


For years the plan was to be a language teacher. Being the control freak that I was I ALWAYS had a plan. But its safe to say that no matter how prepared you are, life doesn't follow a plan. Until recently, I would pretend to have a plan when at family meals because that was what was expected of me.


But guess what? I don't have a plan and now I am shouting it from rooftops.


This initially scared me, A LOT, but I soon came to the realization that actually, does anyone actually know what they are doing with their lives?


"Life happens when you a busy making plans." I know people my age, friends and people from school, who are having children, getting married, already in careers or traveling the world and currently living in New Zealand. Its hard sometimes to not envy the fact that they seem to have a plan. But if you really think about it they probably don't. In fact, they probably had a plan and then kids, "the one" and opportunities found them and they grasped them with both hands. 


Thanks to university and a degree that I don't particularly enjoy, I am in soooo much debt and in all honesty, I'm not in a rush to get a full-time job and to start repaying it all back. That sounds awful but hear me out.


My degree has given me the opportunity to travel, whilst living in France and Italy for a year. This time abroad has taught me A LOT (maybe that should be a post in itself) and it's fed my desire to travel even more. I want to see the world before being stuck in a 9-5 job. I want to live. I want to experience life and not just be living for a paycheck.


I know my final year at university will be full of questions about whats next. And whilst my classmates will be looking into masters programmes and graduate jobs, I will be looking for a part-time job in a shop, something to give me a stable income in order to be able to afford my rent at home. Then on the side, I will hopefully start up a little tutoring business in order to not lose my language skills and so that my degree wasn't a complete waste of time. I also want to set up an Etsy store (which will be coming to life July 2018) and have time to keep blogging and campaign against the stigma that surrounds mental illness. I want to spend my time doing things that have a purpose and make me feel like I am making a difference, however small, to this world. 


I've realised during my time at university that actually I am more creative than academic.  I love to write; poetry, blogs posts, speeches, stories (I'd love to write a novel one day). I love photography, video making and music. I want to do more of those things.


Of course, I can't live in a little bubble forever but for now, I don't need to have a concrete plan. The skeleton of the plan I do have for some family members is a tough one to digest. Having always been the academic one it's always expected that I go places (academically). Well, watch this space because I am going places. Just not the places they wanted. I'm going somewhere much better suited to me.


If you don't have a plan, that's okay, embrace the excitement of the unknown, the sense of adventure.

Let's see where this takes us.

12 comments :

  1. Such an uplifting post, I loved reading it! I might be a control freak but I am a pretty indecisive one, meaning that I never had a clear plan. Funnily enough, the only thing I was sure about was the place - I knew I wanted to move to London and study there but I had absolutely no idea what to study. I then settled on business and did an internship in that area and slowly learned that it really wasn't for me which I found hard to accept at first. But looking back, I'm incredibly happy that the business route did not work out for me - I could not imagine being stuck in a job I didn't enjoy. Sure it's fine for a while but not for 40 years. You say you're in a bubble but you could also argue that it's those with a plan who are living in a bubble - because if their plan doesn't work out, their bubble bursts whereas you are open to many different options. I think it's not only okay not to have a plan, I think it's a really opportunity for growth and exciting changes. xx

    113thingstosay.com

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    1. Thank you so much for your wonderful comment Mira. You are absolutely right maybe not having a plan is in a way better because then you can't find yourself at a loss if the plan doesn't go as you wanted. I hope you are now on a path that is better suited to you and that you are happy x

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  2. This post is amazing! It’s made me happy to feel like I’m not the only one who doesn’t know what they want to do. I myself tell my family I have a plan with what I want to do in life. However, I don’t but I don’t want others to think I’m a failure.
    After reading this post it’s made me feel a LOT better about everthing right now! Xxx

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    1. I am so glad to read that my post has helped you. I think when thinking of failure its important to ask yourself who defines what failure is? At the end of the day how can a pathway be failure when its just a different pathway than perhaps others imagined/would have chosen. But at the end of the day the most important thing is to be happy

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  3. Be who you are and that's the only plan that counts! Really enjoyed this read, and am sure it will inspire lots of others. I often get bogged down by how far 'behind' everyone else in my life olan. At 35, all my siblings including yiubger ones are married, in corp jobs earning lots and have kids/setting up to. I'm just not there yet but I have to stop beating myself up and live my own life at my own pace. Thanks for reminding me of that!

    @xenatheworrier

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    1. Thank you for your comment. I guess it is important to remember that everything happens in life at a pace that we are comfortable with. There is no need to compare ourselves to others.

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  5. The value of degrees is very overrated. I know so many people who got to be successfull in the job they got to pay for their degree, and never finished the degree. It is more important to love what you do. Good luck!

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    1. I agree. University is a business at the end of the day. Whilst they are very necessary for some professions for others they don't mean much.

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  6. This is such a great post, I was like you with a PLAN. Then I got in an accident and life changed so the plans kinda went out the window. It's nice to read about other people not sticking to the plan either :)

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  7. Thank you for your comment Chloe, I'm sorry to hear that you were in an accident. I hope the pathway you are on now is a happy one

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  8. You can write all the "to-do" lists in the world, but nothing will truly matter until you learn how to BE. Right now, this is your time for being and that often involves being plan-free. Having the freedom to decide where the next step will take you in that moment, follow your instincts and let go of the years of people pleasing. I speak from personal experience here!

    When i suspended my studies to receive treatment, i didn't have any plans after discharge. To some extent, this wasn't the best thing as i needed some structure. But that time and space out of the uni/final year bubble helped me find what i TRULY wanted to do. Now, i do have a plan, but it evolved from that time where my life was very much uncharted.

    Do YOU <3

    Bumble and Be

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