Sunday, 14 January 2018

To my ex-best friend

It's a really weird feeling when you lose a best friend. Especially when there is no explosive ending, just a fizzle out of two people changing too much to still be friends. 

People come and go, we all know that, but I guess best friends become family and in that sense I expect them to be there forever. In fact, friends sometimes know you even better than family. Together we've experienced all the highs and lows, all the crazy adventures and mischief. There was always talk of us being grown adults with families of our own and children that would play together. There was never talk of us growing apart because we were surgically joined at the hip and nothing could break us apart, right? Accept something did manage to break down the stitches that joined us, not only did we become two separate people but we became strangers. 

Losing you was sad, heart breaking, especially when there is no explosive end and I want it to just be that time has just ran too long, but that nothing will have truly changed. But still every message sent gets left on read and to start with I told myself you were busy with work or uni and that soon you would reply. Just that weeks would pass by and still my inbox would have those messages I sent still waiting a reply. Time grew and so did distance. And now as that distance gets further and further I know there is no going back. Every piece of thread that once stitched us together has now been cut off and if we see each other you wouldn't even know that we were once so close. 

I think about you often. About how sometimes we would stay up till the early hours of the morning talking, how we would giggle in class like nothing else mattered, how you would hug me when I was going through tough stuff, how I felt so safe with you. I wonder what you are doing now. Have you met someone? Are you working in that same cafe? Hows uni going? Do you miss me? 

I miss you. I miss our friendship. But that friendship relied on who we were as people back then, people that we aren't anymore. So I know that despite being seedlings in the same pot, we grew in different directions until we were re-potted separately. 

Know that I wish you well, that I think of you sometimes, maybe it's when someone says something you used to say, or when someone mentions your name or when I walk past where you work. Know that I miss you but that I understand time has divided us, that we are different people and that is okay. Know that I treasure our memories, that they still make me smile and I will always look back at our friendship fondly. 


  1. Aww... beautifully written, that brought a tear! I am currently coming to the realisation that my best friend and I have slowly drifted apart. Time, distance, circumstances, sigh.... xx

    1. Thank you for your comment Kate. It can be very difficult to realise that you are not as close to someone as you once were but I guess its all part of life x

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