SOCIAL MEDIA

Tuesday, 11 December 2018

A look back on 2018





2018. What a year. I say what a year as though its been amazing but in actual fact its been really tough. On January first I started my bullet journal and set myself a list of things that I wanted to achieve. So in this post, I want to share with you the highs and lows of 2018, as well as a thought on 2019.  This may be a long one so grab a cuppa. 

(Trigger warning, talk of weight, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and emetophobia)

Sunday, 25 November 2018

I don't have much to say.



It's been a while since I've found the will to write but as the title says I don't have much to say, and that pretty much explains my absence. So this blog post may not have a point or a direction but instead, it'll be a bit of an explanation of the last month or so, consider it an update of sorts. 

Sunday, 21 October 2018

Drawing the short straw; born a woman




From the very moment I entered this world I had drawn the short straw. Despite growing up in a rapidly changing society where ideologies have flipped, the short straw is still in my hand and the hands of every other women on this planet because no matter how much men scream that we are now equal and “enough is enough”, we have vaginas and that alone will always mean that we will be a mile behind men.


Wednesday, 10 October 2018

Student mental health - falling through the net


Student mental health is hot in the press. In 2015, 15,000 students disclosed a mental health condition, but despite the fact that students are encouraged to talk about their mental health, accessing help whilst a student is made incredibly difficult. With waiting lists incredibly long and only living on campus for 7 months of the year, accessing help is almost impossible, that's if you are even accepted. Here is my story.

Sunday, 23 September 2018

You are what you eat, a rant about social media



It has been a while now since I lost my spark. My motivation for everything dwindled until even my passion for blogging, my proudest achievement, slipped out of existence and I was left staring at a blank screen with nothing to say. Nothing to say, and it felt, no one to listen.

Tuesday, 11 September 2018

The start of a new adventure - Time to change




Its been a while since you've read a blog post from me but after the weekend I've had, I've found myself with a spark of motivation. If you have been following my blog or my social media for a while you will be well aware that 2018 hasn't been the smoothest of rides for my family and on top of it all I have been stuck in the worst mental health patch I think I've ever had. It's for sure been one of the hardest years of my life and the fact that there are still 4 months left of 2018 and then more years kind of makes me sad because will it actually get better? Will I ever feel better? But this weekend I had that little spark of hope as I attended the Time to Change young champion training weekend in London and I wanted to tell you all about it.

Saturday, 25 August 2018

Being 21



Being 21, which I have been for the past 8 months is a very strange age. Since birth everyone has been aiming for around about the same milestones; walking, talking, getting into their preferred secondary school, GCSE's, A levels, Uni and then suddenly you arrive at 21 and there aren't any more guidelines to live by. My whole life up to this point has been mapped out by little goals and now there aren't any. We are in this weird dimension between being a child and being a proper adult, this weird dimension between the family home and our own lives. 

Sunday, 12 August 2018

Having a parent with a disability



Recently my family reached a big milestone. The 3rd of August 2018 marked 5 years since my mum underwent surgery to remove a large brain tumour and it is on this day that she began life with a disability. So I wanted to take the time to talk about having a parent with a disability and also to talk about what it was like being a carer for some of my teenage years. 

Sunday, 29 July 2018

The Little Moments



Trigger warning: suicidal thoughts

I am writing this on my 3 and a half hour journey home from Portsmouth after the #MHBlogAwards. Recently I have found myself lost in a fog of anxiety, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts. A scary place to be when it feels like the force of those thoughts get stronger and you may be fighting a losing battle. The majority of my days, whilst I function normally, are filled with constant worry and a brain that seems to constantly whisper that suicide is the answer. It is draining fighting the thoughts and pretending that everything is ok. Sometimes, however, I get little moments of rest bite. Days where talking isn't too difficult, where my brain has the space to think of other things, where I don't feel constantly on the edge of a panic attack and where my cheeks actually ache from smiling. 

Thursday, 26 July 2018

Mindful moments: Water

If you are living in the UK then you will be, like me, in the midst of an extremely hot summer. 34 degrees is not the usual summer temperature we experience and so it is when it is a sweltering heat that we appreciate water to the max. But whilst, of course, I am grateful to drinking water for keeping me alive and for living in a country where there is literally an endless supply of water, this post is about the sea. 

Sunday, 22 July 2018

Sexuality labels and questions, what am I?



It is no secret that I am a virgin as it is something that a couple of months ago I took the plunge to discuss on here, if you missed that post you can read it here. Yes, I am a virgin, but I've also never kissed a guy or even had a boyfriend. Anyone I have had an interest in has always been a one-sided affair and I've never even had a guy ask me out. So at 21 you begin to wonder perhaps what is wrong with you.

Thursday, 12 July 2018

Mindful moments: Sound



I have decided to start a new mini blog post series called mindful moments. In the moments where I am most mindful, I find myself grateful for the simpler things. So I thought I would share these in a mini midweek blog post which will hopefully fall before your eyes every Thursday.

Sunday, 8 July 2018

Summer body hair, don't care



It is  that time of year where girls are conditioned to have smooth legs, under arms and bikini. Whilst in winter we can get away with being au naturel, summer is a place where hair (supposedly) doesn't belong. After many summers of ridding myself of hair as soon as it regrows, this year I am a little more chilled.

Sunday, 17 June 2018

2018 so far- mental health, living abroad, life update



I like to think that I am honest with you about my mental health and my life but I am not sure if I have been really as honest as I could have been these past 6 months, not only about the bad but also the good. So here is an honest chat about my life in that time, living abroad, mental health, family life, and travel. An all-round honest update. You may want a cuppa for this one because it'll be long.

Thursday, 7 June 2018

Relapse




Trigger warning, self harm. 

Since August I have been plunged into a relapse. Anxiety, emetophobia, depression and self-harm all coming to have a go at me. Holding me prisoner. 

Tuesday, 29 May 2018

13 Reasons Why




I know, another blog post on 13 reasons why. However, with the release of the second series I wanted to take the time to share my mixed bag of thoughts. There will be spoilers in this post as well as a trigger warning.


Sunday, 13 May 2018

Mental illness; the ugly truth



With Mental Health Awareness week beginning tomorrow, I wanted to do a mental health post depicting the ugly truths of living with these debilitating illnesses. Far too often in tv shows and movies, we see a romanticised version of what it's like to suffer from mental illness. So I wanted this post to be brutally honest, so it does come with a trigger warning. Living with a mental illness is horrible and as it is an invisible illness, those who don't suffer struggle to understand. So I took to Twitter and asked people to tell me what it is like living with their illness, here is their story, here is their ugly truth.  

Sunday, 6 May 2018

Death, an uncomfortable conversation

This isn't going to be the happiest of posts, as the title suggests so if you are finding yourself vulnerable I would suggest clicking away. This is a post that is pretty honest as no one talks about death, at least not the reality. EVER. So I want to talk about it.


With the second series of 13 Reasons Why set to be released on Netflix on the 18th of May, I decided to rewatch the first series. Then something hit me.

Sunday, 29 April 2018

Celebrating Small Boobs


When picturing societies' image of a perfect woman, that image doesn't represent a flat chested lady. Breasts seem to be what physically makes a woman a woman. So growing up and realizing that whilst everything else on your body is growing and changing, your boobs aren't, can be somewhat difficult to come to terms. Welcome to the pancake club. 

Sunday, 22 April 2018

I don't have a concrete plan


Society seems to have this rough outline of a life plan that it likes us to follow. It goes somewhat like this: school - sixthform/college - university/straight into work - graduate job and the start of a career - find "the one" - get married - start a family whilst continuing to work a job that for most people they don't enjoy - eventually retire.

Sunday, 15 April 2018

Nothing is okay


I’ve just walked to a nice cafĂ© where I was going to write a university essay but instead, I have a burning need to write this so here we are. On my walk here I walked past countless amounts of homeless people with their dogs. Sat on street corners, on pieces of cardboard, wrapped in blankets not even bothering to beg for money because they know that their existence is an uncomfortable reality that the majority of people would rather ignore. I walked past people engrossed in their screen instead of looking where they are walking. I opened up my twitter, my newsfeed full of people talking about their ill mental health. My phone pinged, a notification from BBC news, America, France and the UK have started bombing Syria. I go on Instagram and my feed is full of pictures of beautiful people trying to live a perfect life.   



Saturday, 7 April 2018

Self Care for the days you feel like sh*t

Self care is all well and good when you feel you half like yourself. But some days going to run a bubble bath or trying to channel those negative feelings through art can seem like a waste of time and a huge mountain to climb. Some days I don't want to look after myrself because I feel like I don't deserve it and because what is the actual point?


 Welcome to the shittiest days. 

Thursday, 5 April 2018
Sahara Desert 

My scars are not yours to star at,  
they are signs of a Sahara desert 
that ran dry for so long,
that I had to dig deep to find signs of life,
that dry land can crack, down to it's hollow core
and it isn't water that pours out.
Because the cracks go on for miles and miles
across a skin I call home. 
Eventually the rains came 
but nothing can erase the trails
of a drought that once lived within

-A.H
Wednesday, 7 March 2018

Yes, I'm still a virgin


When I decided to branch outside of mental health posts this was at the top of my to do list. Yet I find myself stumbling to write this because it is being open in a way that I am not used to. So as the title suggests this post is all about virginity. As a society we are slowly becoming open enough to talk about sex and its pleasures, however, in turn there seems to be a shame around having not slept with someone and being of a certain age.
Sunday, 25 February 2018

Episode 2 - Social Media


Episode 2 is now available through Soundcloud. Is it time that we question how much time we are wasting to social media? Find out here the app that can help you manage your screen time so that you can make the most out of life.

You can listen to the episode here

If you would like to appear on the podcast or would like me to discuss a particular topic then please email me at unapologeticallyangie@gmail.com

Saturday, 24 February 2018

Who Am I?


Who am I? This was a post that originally was going to be an introduction of who I am as it's been a while since I've formally introduced myself (that's if I ever introduced myself in the first place which I am not sure I did.) However, as I began writing, the weight of this simple yet actually complicated question grew and I realised that I don't know the answer. 

Friday, 16 February 2018
I am tired. 

Not the type of 
fatigue that is from 
late nights or being busy, 
the type of tired 
where every wave that 
hits my back 
knocks my soul 
a little too hard 
and I've forgotten how 
to swim, so this, 
this is now a waiting game 
either for the water to 
reclaim me or 
for a life boat to 
find me. 

-A.H


Thursday, 1 February 2018

Why is it Time to Talk?



1st of February marks an important day in the mental health world, Time to Talk. I wanted to explore why it is important to talk and the impact that a conversation can have. I was 16 when I had my first proper conversation about my mental health. I found my head of year at school, someone with whom I had created quite a bond and I shared that I was self harming. A secret that I had been carrying on my skin and heavily on my shoulders, was taken off me as I no longer needed to guard this secret so tightly. From that day on there were several conversations that saved me over the years. Some where in the form of emails, a Skype call or a face to face conversation. Each conversation was more important than words can describe. 

Wednesday, 17 January 2018

More than these scars

Trigger warning, this post discusses self harm and there are images of self harm scars, so if you feel you may be sensitive to this type of content please don't go any further. 

Sunday, 14 January 2018

To my ex-best friend

It's a really weird feeling when you lose a best friend. Especially when there is no explosive ending, just a fizzle out of two people changing too much to still be friends. 

Wednesday, 10 January 2018
Sunday, 7 January 2018

Anxiety and Erasmus


Anxiety and Erasmus
Angela and Emily
Accident and Emergency

In August 2017 I began a journey as part of my degree; my year abroad. A year that is divided into two sections; the first half living in Grenoble, in the south of France by the Alpes and the second I will be moving to Bologna, Italy.